Perfection In The Eyes Of… Who?
I saw a filter on social media earlier this week. Sadly, it was ‘trending.’ It was called a glam filter.
I tried it out to see what all the hype was about and I literally felt sick.
This filter was one that is meant to make you look like a supermodel, but honestly, I found it just disturbing.
It was shocking to see how amazingly flawless this filter made my skin. My lips were plump, I had zero wrinkles and it looked like I somehow lost a few pounds too. Even my hair looked better! I was mesmerized.
It was perfection in the eyes of … Who exactly? A man? A woman?
I thought back to being a young girl, and if this was the message and image I had to compete with, it would be (and often is, no matter what age) completely soul crushing.
It can be the start of a downward spiral of self-deprecating and negative self-talk that really can be devastating on emotional and physical health.
As a mental health provider, I see this all the time. Young girls who decide they are worthless and ugly developing unhealthy behaviors, body image, and poor self-esteem. Even worse, developing a ‘why am I even here’ mentality because they feel like they can’t compete.
But no one can compete with this. We’re not meant to, it’s not real.
We all have a natural tendency to compare ourselves with others. And as much as social media has become a great way to share information and connect with friends and family, it has also created a platform for us to view others' looks, achievements, and general lives and compare with our own.
We’re all guilty of it. Myself included!
But, I am now in my 50’s and I’ve come to accept that my face doesn’t look that same as it did in its prime 30 years ago.
I’m not saying I don’t often see other women seemingly around my age and wonder, ‘why don’t I look like that?’ But I have done the inner work to know that my self-worth is not dependent on the way I look. And when I catch myself in these comparison games, I refer back to practicing self-loving gestures and remind myself that we are all beautiful and unique in our own ways.
We were put on this Earth to share our gifts with those around us.
And while my gift may not be to be a supermodel, I’ve dedicated my work to teach other women the importance of loving themselves, knowing their self-worth, and living their best life.
- Jada Butler
